za3k > games > no, this cannot be! I AM INVINCIBLE!

No, this cannot be! I AM INVINCIBLE! is a game for 2-8 players. Some of the players are Heroes, and some are Villains. It's designed to be short (30 minutes) and friendly for players new to storytelling games.

Before the game, each Villain prepares a lair full of obstacles, During the game, Villains describe their obstacles, and Heroes describe how they overcome the obstacles (or fail to).

The Villain's goal is to send wave after wave of increasingly stronger enemies at the Heroes, letting them slowly grow in strength until they can defeat the Villain.

If your group is competitive, try to be the first Hero to kill a Villain, and the first Villain to be killed. Whether you like to cooperate, compete, or just have fun making up silly stories--avoid killing a Hero, or everyone loses.

You will need 30 index cards or similar materials. Notebook paper will also work. You also need one d6 (normal six-sided die) for each player.

24. I will maintain a realistic assessment of my strengths and weaknesses. Even though this takes some of the fun out of the job, at least I will never utter the line "No, this cannot be! I AM INVINCIBLE!!!" (After that, death is usually instantaneous.) - Peter Ansprach, 100 Things I'd Do If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord

written 2021-02-07 by zachary "za3k" vance

Making Heroes

Roll randomly to make your Hero. "I am a ..." (roll once per column)

• Make up a name for your hero.
• Write your name, your three stats (based on your class) and 10 HP on an index card. You will also write any loot you find on the card, but you don't have any yet.
• You can immediately describe your Hero to all the other Heroes and Villains.
• Physical represents how strong or nimble your character is. If you have a high Physical stat, you can easily overcome Physical challenges.
• Mental represents how charming or smart your character is. If you have a high Mental stat, you can easily overcome Mental challenges.
• Spirit represents how magical or energetic your character is. If you have a high Spirit stat, you can easily overcome Spirit challenges.
• As you adventure, you will get sweet Loot. Loot improves your stats. You can swap Loot with another Hero at any point until you win. The harder the challenge, the more Loot you will get.
• Heroes start with 10 HP, or Health Points. If you are reduced to 0 HP, you die and the game is over for everyone.
• If you beat a Villain on the last level of their lair, you and the Villain both win and stop playing. You can relax and watch the rest of the game.
• If the Heroes collectively beat all the Villains, the land is safe. All Heroes and Villains win, even if you didn't beat a Villain.

Making Villains

Roll randomly to make your Villain. Keep your identity secret for now. "I am a(n)..." (roll once per column)

"I live in..." (roll once per column)

"I sure hope no one..." (roll once per column)

Making Obstacles (for Villains)

1. Design a series of 4-8 Obstacles for the Heroes to face as they go through your lair. Each one is written on an index card. Don't show the Obstacles to the Heroes.
   • Describe each Obstacle in a few words, writing it legibly on the front of an index card. For example, write "goblin horde". It could be a minion, a trap, a secret door, or anything else at all.
   • Make your Obstacles interesting, cool, or sexy. You are trying to get the Heroes to come to your lair, not the lair one of the other Villains, so they can defeat you.
   • For each Obstacle, assign a Level to the obstacle between 0 and 6, which you write secretly on the back.
   • You can make any number of Obstacles with any Level. For beginners, use 5 obstacles with these levels: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.
   • You, the Villain, are always the final Obstacle. Give yourself a card too. Your Level is 8.
2. For each Obstacle, roll its stats using the table below. For each column, roll a d6 and add the Level you wrote down. If the "Goblin Horde" was Level 1, you would roll a d6 and add 1 for each column. If you get "impossible" three times, reroll the obstacle.
3. Write down the results on the back of the index card, beneath the Level. For example, one card might say "Goblin Horde" on the front. On the back, you might have written: "Level 1, Physical 2, Mental 3, Spirit 1, Loot 1, HP -1".
4. Get ready to describe the first obstacle in your lair aloud, as explained below.
5. Stack your index cards neatly, so only the front of the first Obstacle is visible to Heroes.

Describing Obstacles Aloud

• Whenever an Obstacle is first revealed to the Heroes, you describe the Obstacle aloud to them.
• Try to hint at the difficulty stats of the obstacle in your description.
• An Obstacle with low Physical difficulty is easy to solve using strength or balance. (If it has high Physical difficulty, it's hard to solve using those attributes.)
• An Obstacle with low Mental difficulty is easy to solve using charm or smarts.
• An Obstacle with low Spirit difficulty is easy to solve with magic or enthusiasm.
• Obstacles might be hard or easy to solve for a variety of reasons. A high Physical difficulty might be an ogre, who's just as strong as any Hero, even if she's easy to outwit. Another Physically difficult obstacle might be an irritable clerk, who won't give you what you want even if you punch her.
• Using the example of your Goblin horde, you might say aloud "A dozen weak-looking goblins guard the entrance to the skyscraper. They only speak Goblin, ignoring all attempts to negotiate." The language barrier hints that this might be a difficult mental challenge, but easy otherwise.
• You may NOT hint about Loot.
• You may NOT change your written descriptions after you roll. Part of the fun is trying to describe the obstacle aloud, in a way that matches BOTH the written description, and the stats you roll.

Making Loot (for Villains)

When Heroes beat an Obstacle, they may get Loot. Make each Loot using the table below. For each column, roll a d6 and add the Level of the Obstacle. If you roll all +0 for all three stats, reroll. Heroes see the stats of Loot after they get it. You can make a new index card for each Loot, or (recommended) the Hero can write the Loot on their character card directly.

Optionally, whenever a Hero discovers a Loot, you may describe the item more specifically aloud. Base the description on the Slot and any abilities it has. For example, the +1 Mental Cloak could be described aloud as "a hawaiian-patterned shirt. it's so distractingly bright, that minions won't pay full attention in conversation."

How to Play

• Each Hero describes their character
• Each Villain describes their lair, but doesn't reveal their Villain persona yet. Players may ask the number of remaining Obstacles in a lair at any point.
• Each Villain reveals their lair's first Obstacle, which has a short description written on the front (ex. "Goblin Horde") as a reminder to Heroes--the back remains hidden throughout play. They give a description aloud of the Obstacle, which players enjoy and listen to carefully for clues.
• Select the first Hero however you like. For the remainder of play, each Hero in turn selects any lair and attempts to overcome the one visible Obstacle in that lair. After the Obstacle is defeated or the Heroes temporarily fail it, play passes to the next Hero. Obstacles may be attempted any number of times until they're beaten.
• Obstacles (Success and Failure)
  • Each Hero in turn selects one Obstacle to try and defeat, indicating it. The Hero states aloud what their Hero tries, and whether it uses the Physical, Mental, or Spirit stat. For example "Gertie tries to calm the goblins with a merry tune. She uses Spirit."
  • The corresponding Physical Difficulty, Mental Difficulty, or Spirit Difficulty for that obstacle is revealed and written on the card.
  • If the Hero's stat is at least as high as the equivalent Difficulty, they beat the Obstacle; otherwise, they fail.
  • If a Hero would fail, another Hero can choose to help them. Only one Hero can help at a time. If multiple Heroes want to help, the most recently failed Hero decides who helps.
  • If the helping Hero also fails, this process repeats, until either the Obstacle is beaten or no new Hero volunteers to help.
• Obstacles (Failure)
  • Each Hero describes how they failed, in order from first to last.
  • The Heroes take damage. The Villain reveals the HP penalty for failure, and all Heroes lose that much HP.
• Obstacles (Success)
  • The last Hero (who beat the Obstacle) describes in more detail how they overcame the Obstacle. If they're helping any Heroes who failed, they humorously describe how those heroes sucked at what they were doing before they got help.
  • The Hero gets any and all Loot. If there are multiple Heroes, the last Hero to help picks 1 Loot first, then the next-to-last picks 1 Loot, and so on in a circle until all Loot is taken.
  • After an Obstacle is beaten, that Villain turns face-up the next Obstacle in their lair, and describes it aloud to the Heroes just like the first.
• Final Villain Showdown
  • When turning face-up the final card, the Villain reads aloud their randomly generated villain description and weak point, and describes how the villain greets the Heroes in their inner sanctum.
  • The final fight works exactly like any normal Obstacle, but is very difficult.
  • When the final Villain is defeated (or wins against a Hero), the Villain can help describe the action if they want. Villains are encouraged to cry out "No, this cannot be! I AM INVINCIBLE!" or similar nonsense on defeat.
• Winning or Losing the Game
  • Victory: If a Hero beats a Villain, both the Hero and Villain win and watch the rest of the game without taking part.
  • Victory: If all Villains are beaten, everyone wins.
  • Defeat: If even one Hero dies (is reduced to 0 HP), all remaining Heroes and Villains lose.