za3k > games > no, this cannot be! I AM INVINCIBLE! (v2.1)

No, this cannot be! I AM INVINCIBLE! is a game for 2-8 players. Half the players are Heroes (round up), and half are Villains. It's designed to be friendly for players new to storytelling games.

Before the game, each Villain prepares a lair full of 6 obstacles. The game is about 15 minutes of prep for the Villains, and 15-45 minutes of play. During the game, Villains set the scene, and Heroes describe the action and outcome.

The Villain's goal is to send wave after wave of increasingly stronger enemies at the Heroes, letting them slowly grow in strength until they can defeat the Villain.

If your group is competitive, try to be the first Hero to kill a Villain, and the first Villain to be killed. Whether you like to cooperate, compete, or just have fun making up silly stories--avoid killing a Hero, or everyone loses.

Materials: You will need 6 index cards per Villain, and 1 index card per Hero (or similar materials, notebook paper will also work). You also need one d6 (normal six-sided die) per player.

24. I will maintain a realistic assessment of my strengths and weaknesses. Even though this takes some of the fun out of the job, at least I will never utter the line "No, this cannot be! I AM INVINCIBLE!!!" (After that, death is usually instantaneous.) - Peter Ansprach, 100 Things I'd Do If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord

written 2021-02-08 by zachary "za3k" vance. last updated 2021-03-10. version 1 2.

Making Heroes

Make up a hero, or roll randomly to make your Hero. "I am a ..." (roll once per column)

d6 Class Origin Motive Hero Goal
1 Mexican Wrestler Texan wolves raised me to make friends by working at this temp agency
2 Mad Scientist I traveled back in time to avenge my parents on the last floor of the dungeon
3 Cute Witch After flunking college, I'll be, the -very- best by befriending every single monster
4 Stage Magician I am the chosen one who will make the world better by killing everything I see
5 Living Robot I sailed the seven seas to barely make a living by betraying the heroes
6 Lone Gunslinger In Japanese high school, I will defeat my rival by foiling the villain's plan

Choose or randomly roll your character's starting approach.

d6 Approach
1 Strength
2 Smarts
3 Magic
4 Charm
5 Energy
6 Stealth

Making Villains

Make up a Villain, or roll randomly to make your Villain. "I am a(n)..." (roll once per column)

Roll Description Thing Name Title Habit Special Move
1 Huge, fire-breathing dragon named Evilla the Evil who chain-smokes and can teleport.
2 Adorable little kitten named Grag'hesh the Honest who monologues and throws huge boulders.
3 Sexually confusing catboy named Blake the Kind who plays piano and owns a gun.
4 Intimidatingly strong demon lord named Xerxes the Weak who lounges around emitting sweeping lasers.
5 Married couple of hoodlum named Fluffy the Destroyer who eats everything and knows kung-fu.
6 Old, weak, and deaf CEO named Susan (no title) who laughs maniacly hypnotizing everyone.

Make up a lair, or roll randomly to make your lair. "I live in the..." (roll once per column)

d6 Final level Adjective Lair
1 bottom floor of a failing cave
2 rooftop of an abandoned castle
3 guest bedroom of an imaginary gas station
4 hot tub of a rented theme park
5 break room of a well-marked office
6 portal in a spooky forest

Decide why you want the heroes to defeat you, or roll randomly for your goal. Keep your goal secret until you're defeated. "I sure hope no one defeats me, or I'd ..." (roll once per column).

d6 Villain Goal
1 get to retire early
2 finally feel the sweet release of oblivion
3 activate a hidden trap, and turn to step 147 of my master plan
4 immediately marry them
5 be released from my curse
6 have to assume my ultimate form

Making Obstacles (for Villains)

  1. Design 6 Obstacles for the Heroes to face as they go through your lair.
  2. Pick each of the 6 obstacles.
  3. For each Obstacle, roll randomly using the table below to determine which approaches that Obstacle is weak to. Write the weaknesses on the back of the card. Do not show weaknesses to the Heroes. Write the NUMBER of weaknesses on the front as a reminder to players.
d6 Approach
1 Strength
2 Smarts
3 Magic
4 Charm
5 Energy
6 Stealth
  1. Stack your index cards neatly, so only the front of the first Obstacle is visible to Heroes.
  2. Get ready to describe the first obstacle in your lair aloud.

How to Play